Famous Quotes by George Carlin
Below are famous quotes by George Carlin - US comedian and actor (1937 - ).
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Keep thy religion to thyself.
Life.....is a series of dogs.
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but Im just not close enough to get the job done."
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
Weather forcast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?
When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?
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